Everyone knows that the current slate of Olympic events could use some updating. Here is a list of 5 long-shot additions to the summer games:
Four Square
Despite some potential copyright issues with a well-known tech business (or a free marketing opportunity?), Four Square would be great at the olympics. No new facilities are needed (find a local park), it’s an easily accessible game with simple rules, and the prolonged guilt I feel for spiking the classic red ball into the face of a new classmate in middle school has forced me to add it to the list. The rallies could be absolutely electric.
Look out for the woman in the back behind the tree trying to sneak a glance at the most electric game on the planet. No cherry bombs though.
Bocce
Bocce needs to be in the Olympics, only if the athletes are required to be over the age of 65. There are too many sports at the Olympics that require youth, athleticism, and agility, so let’s consider adding a sport that only requires precision and strategy (a la the great sport of curling, or mini golf). I would love to see Snoop Dogg and Kevin Hart commentate on this sport too, selfishly.
Bo-taoshi
This sport is incredible, and deserves some more publicity. The twist with its inclusion in the Olympics is that your team must be assembled from athletes that are already going to the games. Countries that don’t have enough players will combine forces with their nearest neighbors to hit the needed roster size. Can you imagine a pole-vaulter absolutely sending himself into a wall of greco-roman wrestlers? Me neither, which is why I want to see it.
Teqball
Combine ping pong and soccer, and you have Teqball. However, Teqball is clearly greater than the sum of its parts. As someone who recently witnessed a friend blow out a hamstring while playing pass with a soccer ball in a park, the athleticism and acrobatics of this sport are very impressive. Moreso than the other sports on this list, I could see Teqball making its way to the Olympics one day. Plus, since it’s indoors, maybe we can host it at the Winter Games and move hockey to the summer (eyes emoji).
If I went back in time and told 12-year-old me that there is a sport played with this table that involves a soccer ball, I would probably have never pursued engineering and dedicated my life to it on the spot. On a side note, the design and aesthetics of this table are on point.
Jousting
We already have horses and sword-fighters at the games. In particular, the horses could probably blow off a little steam after having to perform all those controlled walks and trots in Dressage (how is this still in the Olympics). A modern, safe jousting event would be an explosive and exciting spectacle, that would also be an incredible event for sports betting. Plus, the closer we get to A Knight’s Tale, the better. Maybe we can even require each competitor to have a squire that introduces them.
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